So yes. I am still alive! AND NO EMAIL FROM YOUUUUUU
So yeah. Transfers came last night and I am staying here. My companion is leaving to be a district leader in an area in my old zone. So yes. I am getting a new companion named Elder Lowry. I'm a little nervous because he is a former Zone Leader who is stepping down so we'll see how that goes.
But besides that, I'm in Harrisonburg at least another 6 weeks! I can't say I'm not relieved, but I'll still miss Elder Terry even though he has stressed me out to the max.
Things are good though. I'm still junior companion, but we'll see what happens. I guess it doesn't matter what I am especially since it doesn't even matter.
But yeah. I loved talking with you all on Christmas, and Dad I don't think I could thank you enough for helping me keep my commitment of 40 minutes. I wanted to talk more but I know that you knew I would have a hard time saying goodbye, so you cut it off. I'm glad! I didn't cry nearly as much as I was thinking I was going to.
I feel an unbelievable amount of stress now that Elder Terry is leaving. He's been here 7 months. I've been here 1 1/2. O_o
Everyone trusts him and knows him and they barely know me and I'm going to be the one that knows the area ugh. I'm especially worried about "Bob"...have I told you about "Bob"? I don't think I have. Let me just relate a little bit of what has happened over the last 6 weeks with that.
"BOb" is a 49 year old man who lives in a small town, called mount crawford. Elder Terry and his companion found"Bob" walking down the street and talked with him. Turns out "Bob"s mom had just died and that was all he lived for. He took care of his mom and had never left her home. He's never really had a serious job, and has worked menial labor his whole life. He was extremely depressed. He was also homosexual, and was dealing with that as well. Elder Terry taught this man the gospel. "Bob" attempted to kill himself by hanging himself. All he says he remembers is kicking out the chair from underneath him, and then all of a sudden he was on the floor and the rope had been cleanly cut. He doesn't know what happened, but we know it is because the Lord has some marvelous work in store for "Bob".
Now let's jump to when I came in. "Bob" has become a member of the church. Although he still has those desires of being homosexual, he is celebate, and does not act on those desires, fulfilling the requirements to be exactly obediant to the commandments of the Lord. He has been going through an extremely rough time lately, because he has started having flashbacks of his childhood, where he's learned that his father abused him. Whether these flashbacks are real or not, he's feeling the burden of them.
Now the only problem I have, is that through ALL of that, Elder Terry has been there. He knows "Bob" inside and out. I don't. I know he trusts me, but not as much as Elder Terry. Therein lies my problem. When he finds out today that his best friend (Elder Terry) is leaving, he's going to be devastated. And Since Elder Terry is leaving, I'm going to be dealing with the after math of that. UGH. I love him, don't get me wrong, but "Bob" is going to take this very hard. The Lord has some seriously amazing work for "Bob" to do, simply because of the trials he has gone through to be refined to this state. "Bob" is one of my inspirations. I know that if "bob" can go through what he is going through, I can take on ANYTHING and make it through it. I want to help him the best I can but I don't know what to do. He calls us constantly (5-6 times a day) and we are not supposed to be doing any counciling so I am just unsure of what to do.
But yeah...if you have any advice, I'd gladly recieve it.
Don't forget the facebook pictures by the way!!!! Along with Joseph's mission home address and Aunt Lorna's address.
Yeah it was kinda funny, Elder Terry and I swapped ties today, and he gave me one and wrote on it "you are a fine missionary" and I was like oh. So I'm only a fine missionary? not a good or great one? Just fine? hahaha. I know what he meant, but it was funny to me. Maybe I'm too casual, because I just wrote on it "stay sweet" xD
Gosh I feel like such a horrible missionary at times. I feel like I'm not even close to the level I should be. I see so many things I do wrong and I feel incredibely inadequate to be in the Lord's service. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to other missionaries...but one of the Elders in my mtc district is already senior companion :( I am a failure! I guess leadership doesn't matter but when everyone else around you is moving up, I feel like a junky missionary. Oh well, I don't really know what I need to do but I will strive to find out what I need to improve.
But yeah. Things are going alright. I love harrisonburg and we should have three baptisms here in january and I'm excited. But we'll see how the new companion is.
Oh by the way, I know I told you this, but the spanish elders have been living with us for a little while and will be until the 1st. So yeah haha. Lots of spanish being spoken (or attempted to be spoken) in our apartment lately.
But yeah. I think that's all I wanted to say this week. I love you all so much and am SO grateful for your prayers and love. I know what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be. I'm here for a reason. I have already seen my attitude on things change just in the short time I've been away from home. It's weird how much you change on a mission. I can't imagine what I'll be like when I get home. But I love this Gospel with all of my heart. And even though I get yelled at almost every day, I continue because I KNOW what I am doing and I know my purpose in this life. Jesus Christ is my personal Savior and Redeemer. Because of Him I have purpose. Because of Him I have that drive to work hard. I know that we are all able to come unto him and repent no matter what we have done. I know that the young boy Joseph Smith did see Our Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ in the Sacred Grove. His testimony is not one of fallacy or imagination. The Lord restored His gospel through Joseph Smith, and brought the Gospel back to this earth. The Authority to do such was restored as well, and it resides in this Church forever and ever more. The Book of Mormon is a fruit of that young Prophet. Through that ancient record, we can decide for OURSELVES whether Joseph Smith was a Prophet or not. Because, simply, this Church Solely rests on the idea that the Book of Mormon is true. If it's false, it is the greatest lie ever recorded by man. If it is, we have a prophet today on this earth. We have the fulness of the gospel restored to us by a loving and living God in Heaven. Because of this gospel, we will live with our families again into the eternities. I know this gospel is true. Life doesn't make sense without it. There are too many questions that humanity leaves unanswered. The Gospel of Jesus Christ answers every single one of those questions. I am never left comfortless when I am lost.
I love being a missionary. I wouldn't give it up for the world. I would rather die than give up my testimony of this church. And I will never forgot the miracles and experiences I have had out here.
I'm sorry for the rant, felt like I needed to do it. Love you all so much and I hope you are doing good in the new year. Please stay safe. I miss you so much. I will talk to you next week!